quinta-feira, março 30, 2006

Serviço de Urgência

Migos surpresa, voltei!

O que é a felicidade dos portugueses?

Será:

- ir à praia com os meninos, um deles cagar na fralda e termos o infeliz acidente de colocarmos a manapula naquele monte de estrume cheiroso e moldado que mais parece um G.I. Joe acastanhado?

- ir para a montanha com os meninos, um deles mijar na mala de um punk nazi a cheio de argolas no focinho e ter que lhe partir a cornadura com um telemovel de versão limitada que vende montes de unidades nas casas mais conhecidas?

- conduzir o Punto GT amarelo a 2 pintores e 40 na Vasco da Gama e chegar à estação de serviço com o volante na mão porque não havia gasolina para mais que metade da ponte?

- ou talvez mudar de computador de mês a mês porque o format já não resolve aquele ficheiro a mais ou um virus fantasma faz com que o eMule funcione com LowID e alguns vandalos hackers estejam a sacar o meu disco todo?

- bem temos ainda a hipotese de não ser felizes e voltar sempre para fazer surpresas porque a loja ao pé da rotunda está vazia e até o cantinho do plus tem mais clientes.

A resposta é simples: Um dia bem passado no Hospital!

Mas "Porquê(?)" perguntam vocês...
- Personagens, montes de personagens.
Quem? Os doentes?
- Os que queriam ser doentes.

O hospital é o lugar ideal para encontrar aqueles velhotes companheiros do ultramar que sofrem do stress pós-guerra:
- Olha quem é ele!
- ??? Tá bom?
- Não me conheces?
- ?? Sim claro, hmm não.
- Joaquim Serra, o Quim Rebenta Pretas pá.
- Eh pá à quanto tempo! Ainda sonho com isso...

Há sempre aquela velhota que está agarrada ao soro e começa a sangrar da mão. A outra velhota em pânico grita "AI COITADINHA" e desmaia porque a gotinha de sangue caiu para o chão. Resultado: consulta de rotina para medir a tensão passa a enfarte, quinta das tabuletas.

Há sempre o cota ex-PIDE que partia os cornos aos que eram contra o sistema mas que agora é apenas do contra porque no tempo do Salazar é que era:
Segurança - Minha senhora não é permitido passar para aqui, é a Morgue, só pessoal autorizado.
Velhota - Ahhh desculpe sr. Polícia, disseram-me para visitar o meu Quim era para este lado.
EX-PIDE - Não se pode fazer nada! No tempo do Salazar é que era!

Não nos podemos esquecer também das pessoas que vão ao balcão de 1 em 1 minutos perguntar aquilo que já perguntaram mas que acham que têm todo o direito a perguntar de novo.
O resultado desta situação é simples:

Direito do Utente: Ser atendido de forma humana e profissional!
Se chateia demais: Colocado dentro da roupa suja e com direito a viajem pelos túneis do lixo!

A urgência tem sempre ciganos e há sempre algo que os médicos se esquecem: Nunca digam que o doente vai ficar mal senão o médico ficará pior. Dentro daqueles Ford Transit cheias de roupa para vender HÁ SEMPRE espingardas. Em último caso as ciganas transportam na roupa interior, a faca do talho.


Por último gostaria de dar um sugestão a pessoas que:
- "viajam muito" para rotundas e cantinhos em centros de cidades;
- estão em risco de ficarem "sozinhas" numa das estações de serviço da A23;
- sentem a falta dos a'migos' e nunca falariam mal deles;
- somem por alguns meses porque precisam de pensar na vida;
- sofrem por aquilo que passaram na vida e não por aquilo que fizeram;
- gostam de alavancas de mudanças;


VÃO DAR SANGUE!

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